Friday, September 14, 2012

Random Blog of Variety 9/13/12

Happy Thursday the 13th! Just another random blog of thoughts that don't need a blog of their own.

-By now I was supposed to have started the "Fantasy Horror-thon" series of blogs, but I ran into a little snag: I have no idea how to attack writing them! I got some really great lists from various people, but I'm having a real difficult time finding an interesting way to present them. Trust me when I say that this is 100% my own fault, and not the fault of the list writers. I am teetering on the brink of just scrapping the whole idea, which I don't want to do. A lot of people spent there own free time writing a list(with explanations), and I'd hate to have their work go to waste. I think I have an idea on how to make it an interesting read on my end, but because of my current schedule, I know for a fact I won't be able to get to all I was sent, which I am truly sorry about.
I'll try to have a few up by the end of October, and once again I am sorry to all who sent me their lists expecting something from me.

-Tonight my brother and his wife were watching the new Muppet movie from last year, and it was right at the montage where the Muppets are cleaning the old Muppet Show set for their telethon. The part in the involving the Swedish Chef could be my favorite Muppet moment ever: he swings open the refrigerator door and proceeds to fire a flame-thrower onto a group of living Muppet vegetables! Mass fucking Muppet genocide! I mean, Muppets are Muppets! Just because they were tomato and celery Muppets, doesn't make them any less Muppet than Rizzo or Beauregard! Swedish Chef is a monster.

-Next week is a big DVD day for horror fans, as the brilliant Cabin in the Woods gets a home video release, as well as the much anticipated Scream Factory releases of Halloween 2 & 3. The Halloween releases I will buy the standard versions of, but I'm torn about Cabin. I think the blu-ray has some cool exclusive features that I'd love to mess around with, but I don't know too many other people who own a compatible player, so taking blu-ray Cabin to a friend's house to watch is gonna be a pain.

-I was just told the the last Batman movie was basicaly Rocky 3 remade with comic book characters. ... Batman = Rocky. Bane = Clubber Lang. Alfred = Mickey OH MY GLOB.

-The first Ben Folds Five album in 13 years comes out this Tuesday, and after listening to a few of the tracks on various websites, I have to say I'm not thrilled with what I heard. YES I'm still going to buy the album off iTunes. I just hope to god it sounds better after a few dozen listens.

-The new Local H album comes out as well, but I am not worried about that one at all. With their track record, they have more than earned my trust.

-The latest Toadies release "Play.Rock.Music" has slowly been growing on me. What I've been listening to mostly is the Flobots latest effort, "The Circle and the Square", which unsurprisingly, is fantastic.

-This week we get the return of Sons of Anarchy, which will fill the TV void that Breaking Bad left in my life when it's shortened season ended two weeks ago. Also in the coming weeks we have the return of Community, Dexter, American Horror Story, Bob's Burgers and The Walking Dead.
I know Boardwalk Empire, Treme and Homeland also return, but I still need to delve into those shows, which I hope to soon.

-Upcoming blog topics include the top songs I wished I could've moshed to, that Nintendo Power retrospective that I'm STILL working on, a planned Mystery Science Theater 3000 week, and of course, starting October 1st: the 5th annual 31 Days of Horror! I know you all are as excited as I am!

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Drive: A Half-Assed Review

I randomly decided to watch Drive on this rainy fuck of a Labor Day, after watching a review of it on Half in the Bag. To get right to the point: I liked it. A lot. I know I'll be buying the DVD, and downloading the soundtrack off iTunes.
Ryan Gosling does a superb job as the nameless, semi-emotionless stuntman/grease-monkey/heist-driver. He's really good at being both equal parts dreamy for the girls and badass for the guys, although the high-level of violence in this movie will keep most ladies with their hands over their eyes(this movie features an awesome head-smashing scene that would make Gasper Noe wince).
I went into this movie knowing very little about(the way i like it), and I let out an excited "Oh shit!" when I saw in the well-done opening credits that Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks and Ron Perlman(in a rare no facial hair or extensive make-up performance) also starred.
There isn't anything bad I can say about this movie, although it is not for everyone, and that's mostly due to how slow-paced it is. My only real problem(and it was a pretty big one) is that this is one of those movies where the dialogue is really quiet and action scenes are FUCKBALLS LOUD! It was incredibly annoying for me to have to constantly turn up and down my volume, depending on what was going on, then turn off my air conditioner because it was too loud for the talky-talky parts. Maybe this was a problem with Netflix, or maybe this movie was designed for people with awesome surround sound systems that I do not own. Either way, whispering while car tires are screeching really loud make for a lousy movie-watching experience. I'm sure that I won't get this kind of problem when watching The Artist.
So, if you're patient with the movies you watch, and don't mind brutal violence, I highly recommend Drive.

Below is my ever-growing list of things that make any movie automatically better. How does Drive stack up?
-Chainsaw Fight NOPE
-Viggo Mortensen UH-UH
-A Pimpmobile NADA
-A Head-Crushing BINGO
-Time Travel NOT HERE
1 out of 5? This is a hard list to fill, so l'll give it a pass.