Exhumed Films' Horrorthon 2015 Crib Notes

Exhumed Films 9th Annual 24 Hour Horrorthon

Movie 1
Gruesome, insane Hong Kong horror comedy

We're Going to Eat You

The running theme for this Horrorthon blog will be "I don't remember" because despite being the most recent show of the three I've written about this week, it's the show I remember the least.
I must've enjoyed We're Going to Eat You though, as I ended up buying it.

Movie 2
Totally awesome, action/horror/sci-fi amalgam

Silent Rage

A fun film, best described as "Chuck Norris versus Michael Myers."

Movie 3
Giant Monster Movie

Godzilla 1985

Featuring Godzilla's greatest battle

Movie 4
Innovative, intellectual horror classic from a genre legend

Martin

Proving again that Romero is a master of his craft, as he handles Vampires with as much delicacy and respect as he gave to zombies.
The Fox TV network would attempt to reboot Martin into a series, with mixed results.

"Movie" 5
Horror anthology featuring works by influential genre filmmakers

Shock Value

This film-like thing, which seemed to have been cobbled together using a Windows 98 editing suite, was screened as the obligatory "dinner break" feature.
My group left to get pizza and back-alley tug jobs. The pizza was cold and apparently I yank too hard.

Movie 6
Cool Halloween-themed fan favorite from the 1980s

Night of the Demons

Amnesia. I remember nothing. But I WAS in the room.

Movie 7
Strange, funny, and slightly disturbing monster movie that serves as an allegory for addiction

Brain Damage

The perfect film to cross midnight, into the wee hours. Features the voice of the late, great Zacherly.

Movie 8
Surreal, cerebral science fiction film with a dash of good old-fashioned monster movie thrown into the mix

Altered States

William Hurt turns into a monkey, raises heck all over the place. Was remade in the '90s as Dunsten Checks In.

Movie 9
Bizzarro sci-fi satire schlockfest starring a who's who of cult movie icons

(goddamn)Terror Vision

One of my all-time favorite movies, and a perfect choice. I honestly wish Exhumed would screen it at every Horrorthon.

Movie 10
Stylish, gory, and under seen shocker that feels like a Euro-horror film, even though it was produced in the U.S.

The Witch

I slept through most of The Witch, although I liked what little of it I watched. Not to be confused with The VVitch.

Movie 11
Infamous, goofy 1960s B-grade monster movie

The Horror of Party Beach

I love these types of movies, but not at hour eighteen of a 24 hour movie marathon.

Movie 12
Quite simply one of the best vampire movies of all time

Near Dark

I'm surprised it took Exhumed nine years to screen this classic at a Horrorthon.
We also would've accepted The Lost Boys.

Movie 13
Non-traditional "Animals Attack" movie filling the traditional Horrorthon "Animals Attack" timeslot

Piranha II: The Spawning

With respect to Oscar winning Best Boy James Cameron, I slept through this mess.

Movie 14
Wacky horror comedy which, shockingly, we have only screened once before over the course of eighteen years

(the almighty)Army of Darkness

Just like anyone, I've seen Army of Darkness a couple hundred times, but I still had never seen it on 35mm. Both the horror AND film nerd halves of me were satisfied.

This is my second favorite Horrorthon.

Exhumed Films Horrorthon 2014 Crib Notes

This is a very random mixture of oddball, "bastard step-children" horror films. It's a Horror Nerd's dream show. When the most mainstream film on the list features a horrific child death, you know you're in for a good time.

Exhumed Films Eight Annual 24 Hour Horrorthon

Movie 1
Stylish, star-studded cosmic horror film worthy of rediscovery

The Keep

The Horrorthon '14 is off to a terrible start as I fall asleep during the first movie. While I'm sure The Keep is a wonderful story, and I will certainly give it another go, I don't agree with this choice as an opener.

Movie 2
Influential Asian horror movie that created it's own sub-genre

Black Magic

Highly enjoyable.

Movie 3
Quite possible the dumbest Giant Monster Movie of all time

Godzilla's Revenge

This is a bottom-rung Godzilla film, which meant this would be a real crowd-pleaser.

Movie 4
Earnest entry in an iconic horror movie series that doesn't live up to it's predecessors, but is still infinitely superior to the terrible sequels and do-overs that followed

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

This would be a stellar choice, but when you've seen the unrated DVD cut, the 35mm print becomes almost dog-shit, because it's censored to Hell.

Movie 5
Fun, rarely screened sci-fi/horror inspired by the 1950s-era atomic monster movies

Blue Monkey

No idea, as we stepped out for a bit.

Movie 6
Creepy "living dead" fan favorite

Pet Sematary

Easily the most well-known film at this year's show, and quite possibly the scariest.

Movie 7
Silly, low-budget horror sequel to the silly, low-budget original which played at a recent Horrorthon

The Gate II

I remember that I watched it, but I don't actually remember it, if that makes any sense.

Movie 8
Infamous and brutal 1970's gore exploitation film that lives up(or down?) to it's reputation as one of the sleaziest, and most disturbing movies of all time; you've been warned

Last House and Dead-End Street

This was a special treat. I was so "out of it" at this point, it took me a few minutes to realize that this was indeed the film I named my blog after, and not "on the Left."
The audience seemed to really hate this experience, which is an reaction that's hard to argue. Dead-End Street is a rough movie to sit through, but everyone in that theater is a better person for having done so, whether they know it or not.

Movie 9
Ridiculously bad, anachronistic "period piece" horror film from a divisive director that folks tend to love or hate... or love to hate

Guru the Mad Monk

Skipped out on the Mad Monk.

Movie 10
Goofy, absurd, and yet strangely charming 1970s creature feature

Bog

I remember the elderly romantic subplot better than what the monster looked like, because we were well past midnight at this point, so things were starting to get weirder in the theater.

Movie 11
Gruesome, satirical horror/exploitation favorite

Mother's Day

A sleazy(yet intentionally funny) crowd pleaser. Also, one of my all-time favorite VHS covers.

Movie 12
Clever and enjoyable supernatural "sequel in-name-only" that may actually be a bit better than the original

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II

I slept through this, however the very little I did get to watch seemed pretty good. I dig the rhyming-scheme of the title.

Movie 13
Obscure, gory 1980s slasher film

Nightmare at Shadow Woods aka Blood Rage

Very entertaining Thanksgiving-based slasher with "one good/one bad" murderous Twin plot. Recently released by Arrow Video, and is well worth a buy.

Movie 14
Totally awesome, totally creepy "Animals Attack" film

Kingdom of the Spiders

Nope.

Movie 15
Zombie movie fan favorite that should be a fun film to finish out the festival

Night of the Creeps

Awesome choice to finish the event off, but it ended sour for me personally, as it was this point I started developing a kidney stone, which are incredibly painful. And to pour salt on that wound, I arrived home to find out that my cat had died.
See you in 2015!
---------------------

Exhumed Films Horrorthon 2013 Crib Notes

I have not reviewed the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon in four years. I wish I could give you a good reason why I stopped, but I honestly have no idea.
"Did you stop going to the Horrorthon?"
I attended the following three years, and already have my ticket for this year's show.
"Maybe you stopped blogging?"
I've written about other events, although this year has been a writing dry spell.
Honestly, any reason I could give would likely just sound like lame excuses and pointless whining, which ain't nobody got time for, so let's just move on to the subject at hand.
------------------------------------------------
I now attempt to review the experience of a Horrorthon from three years ago, with an ever-fading memory of the event. This outta be fun.

Exhumed Films 7th Annual 24 Hour Horrorthon

Movie 1
HINT: Weird, fun, underrated horror film from the 1990s

-Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

This is, by far, the best "opening film" at any Horrorthon, both past and present. If the crowd had been armed, the ceiling of the International House Theater would be full of holes.
I doubt very much that Demon Knight's brother, Bordello of Blood, would've gone over as swimmingly.

Movie 2
Unique psychological thriller/Animals Attack film from one of the most highly regarded genre directors of all time

-Monkey Shines

The crowd was really into this lesser-known film from George Romero. The literal "Hooting and Hollering" for the nudity was great, with some actual booing when a dame's butt gets covered by a blanket. Good times...
It would seem that some people took a walk during it because of "animal cruelty," but I read that no monkeys were killed during filming. Some dude broke an arm, and somebody kicked a cat, but that's about it.

Movie 3
Low budget zombie film that may be better than it looks, but probably isn't

-Flesh Eater

This Night of the Living Dead "pseudo-sequel" is written, directed, and stars the first zombie to appear on-screen in the actual NOTLD, Bill Hinzman.
It's badly written. Badly directed. Badly edited. And I hear the catering was shit as well.
Highly recommended.

Movie 4
Grim, gruesome, disturbing '70s horror film

-Mansion of the Doomed

This movie was indeed, pretty gruesome, and it's slow-pace calmed the audience down a bit, which was probably necessary. My second favorite film of the Horrorthon.

Movie 5
Euro-horror classic

-Inferno

The only thing I remember of this screening of Inferno is that someone pulled the fire alarm in the middle of the film, which will never cease to be funny.

Movie 6
Silly, sorta-sexy '60s "Spook Show" short

-Monsters Crash the Pajama Party

With a real live monster on stage! Or just someone in a guerrilla suit. This was fun, with some audience participation; it would be great if Exhumed did these more often.

Movie 7
Pioneering combination of horror and rock music

-The Alice Cooper Show: Welcome to my Nightmare

While I have no idea if this concert film was any good, the pizza we ate up the street was greasy and poorly written.

Movie 8
If you loved last year's "Night of a Thousand Cats", you'll probably love this

-Tintorea

The title means "female shark". The goofy romantic subplot kept the audience entertained, but the scene with the real life dead shark carcass seemed to upset some.

We are now well past midnight at this point, and this is where shit start's to get weird, both on the screen and in your mind, as your brain starts to beg for sleep. Your bladder begs to be emptied.

Movie 9
Over the past sixteen years, Exhumed Films has shown a lot of slasher films. But we have never shown this one before. I know that's not much of a clue, but that's all I've got...

-The House on Sorority Row

I found this film to be a terribly boring "Slash/Tits/Confetti" affair. And it sent a few of my friends home early, which was a shame, because it meant they would miss the wonderfulness that was screening next.

Movie 10
Ridiculously inept and absurd horror movie mess that is actually pretty entertaining despite being a complete train wreck

-Night Train to Terror

This was my favorite movie of the show, but it was at this point that i decided to make the wise and healthy decision to drink a combo-concoction of a Five Hour Energy and a Red Bull. I'm pretty sure I did severe, long-term damage to my kidneys and pee-hole.
Night Train to Terror features a lovely head-smashing, so Five Stars across the board.

Movie 11
Unsettling early horror/pseudo zombie film from one of the most highly regarded genre directors of all time

-The Parasite Murders aka They Came From Within

ZzzzzzzzCroenenbergzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzslugszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzclownsuitzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Movie 12
Rousing fantasy/action/giant monster movie

-The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

[skull emoji]

Movie 13
Dumb zombie movie Exhumed showed ages ago and vowed we'd never show again. And yet, here we are...

-Toxic Zombies

Somehow Exhumed found a more inept Zombie movie than Flesh Eater. The was fun, but I was really having trouble staying awake at this point. A lot of this movie was a trippy dream hallucination.

Movie 14
Fun action movie(with sci-fi/horror overtones) directed by a genre favorite

-(mother fucking)Darkman

One of my all-time favorite films. The audience was now woke and full of free monster cereals.

Movie 15
Horror movie sequel that is not nearly as good as the original, but is still pretty entertaining in it's own right

-Demons 2

Ending with Darkman would've been a Home-run, but I'm sure this was still a solid choice. I was unconscious through most of it. And by "most of it" I mean "I've never seen Demons 2".
----------------------
Tomorrow: 2014, which is arguably the oddest Horrorthon to date.

Exhumed Films Horrorthon 2013 Crib Notes

I have not reviewed the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon in four years. I wish I could give you a good reason why I stopped, but I honestly have no idea.
"Did you stop going to the Horrorthon?"
I attended the following three years, and already have my ticket for this year's show.
"Maybe you stopped blogging?"
I've written about other events, although this year has been a writing dry spell.
Honestly, any reason I could give would likely just sound like lame excuses and pointless whining, which ain't nobody got time for, so let's just move on to the subject at hand.
------------------------------------------------
I now attempt to review the experience of a Horrorthon from three years ago, with an ever-fading memory of the event. This outta be fun.

Exhumed Films 7th Annual 24 Hour Horrorthon

Movie 1
HINT: Weird, fun, underrated horror film from the 1990s

-Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

This is, by far, the best "opening film" at any Horrorthon, both past and present. If the crowd had been armed, the ceiling of the International House Theater would be full of holes.
I doubt very much that Demon Knight's brother, Bordello of Blood, would've gone over as swimmingly.

Movie 2
Unique psychological thriller/Animals Attack film from one of the most highly regarded genre directors of all time

-Monkey Shines

The crowd was really into this lesser-known film from George Romero. The literal "Hooting and Hollering" for the nudity was great, with some actual booing when a dame's butt gets covered by a blanket. Good times...
It would seem that some people took a walk during it because of "animal cruelty," but I read that no monkeys were killed during filming. Some dude broke an arm, and somebody kicked a cat, but that's about it.

Movie 3
Low budget zombie film that may be better than it looks, but probably isn't

-Flesh Eater

This Night of the Living Dead "pseudo-sequel" is written, directed, and stars the first zombie to appear on-screen in the actual NOTLD, Bill Hinzman.
It's badly written. Badly directed. Badly edited. And I hear the catering was shit as well.
Highly recommended.

Movie 4
Grim, gruesome, disturbing '70s horror film

-Mansion of the Doomed

This movie was indeed, pretty gruesome, and it's slow-pace calmed the audience down a bit, which was probably necessary. My second favorite film of the Horrorthon.

Movie 5
Euro-horror classic

-Inferno

The only thing I remember of this screening of Inferno is that someone pulled the International House's fire alarm in the middle of the film.

Movie 6
Silly, sorta-sexy '60s "Spook Show" short

-Monsters Crash the Pajama Party

With a real live monster on stage! Or just someone in a guerrilla suit. This was fun, with some audience participation; it would be great if Exhumed did these more often.

Movie 7
Pioneering combination of horror and rock music

-The Alice Cooper Show: Welcome to my Nightmare

While I have no idea if this concert film was any good, the pizza we ate up the street was greasy and poorly written.

Movie 8
If you loved last year's "Night of a Thousand Cats", you'll probably love this

-Tintorea

The title means "female shark". The goofy romantic subplot kept the audience entertained, but the scene with the real life dead shark carcass seemed to upset some.

We are now well past midnight at this point, and this is where shit start's to get weird, both on the screen and in your mind, as your brain starts to beg for sleep. Your bladder begs to be emptied.

Movie 9
Over the past sixteen years, Exhumed Films has shown a lot of slasher films. But we have never shown this one before. I know that's not much of a clue, but that's all I've got...

-The House on Sorority Row

I found this film to be a terribly boring "Slash/Tits/Confetti" affair. And it sent a few of my friends home early, which was a shame, because it meant they would miss the wonderfulness that was screening next.

Movie 10
Ridiculously inept and absurd horror movie mess that is actually pretty entertaining despite being a complete train wreck

-Night Train to Terror

This was my favorite movie of the show, but it was at this point that i decided to make the wise and healthy decision to drink a combo-concoction of a Five Hour Energy and a Red Bull. I'm pretty sure I did severe, long-term damage to my kidneys and pee-hole.
Night Train to Terror features a lovely head-smashing, so Five Stars across the board.

Movie 11
Unsettling early horror/pseudo zombie film from one of the most highly regarded genre directors of all time

-The Parasite Murders aka They Came From Within

ZzzzzzzzCroenenbergzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzslugszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzclownsuitzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Movie 12
Rousing fantasy/action/giant monster movie

-The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

[skull emoji]

Movie 13
Dumb zombie movie Exhumed showed ages ago and vowed we'd never show again. And yet, here we are...

-Toxic Zombies

Somehow Exhumed found a more inept Zombie movie than Flesh Eater. The was fun, but I was really having trouble staying awake at this point. A lot of this movie was a trippy dream hallucination.

Movie 14
Fun action movie(with sci-fi/horror overtones) directed by a genre favorite

-(mother fucking)Darkman

One of my all-time favorite films. The audience was now woke and full of free monster cereals.

Movie 15
Horror movie sequel that is not nearly as good as the original, but is still pretty entertaining in it's own right

-Demons 2

Ending with Darkman would've been a Home-run, but I'm sure this was still a solid choice. I was unconscious through most of it. And by "most of it" I mean "I've never seen Demons 2".
----------------------
Tomorrow: 2014, which is arguably the oddest Horrorthon to date.