Tuesday, October 23, 2012

31 Days of Horror: Year 5 - Part 3

Movie 20

The prequel to the 2003 remake, l remember strongly disliking this when l saw it in theaters. This time around l liked it a smidge more. 
ln what is no surprise, R. Lee Ermey is the best part of the whole film. Seeing how Eremy becomes the scuzzy Sheriff is a treat, and the ending is anything but fairy-tale, otherwise this is almost a blow-by-blow rehash of the remake. Ugh, just the thought of that gives me a headache.
Bonus points for bringing back John Larroquette for the narration, even if it is only at the end.
Body Count: 11
Best Death: Nothing too great, although Leatherface starting up the chainsaw while a biker dude laid across it was pretty sweet.
One More Thing: Jordana Brewster is hot, but it's a "rough around the edges" type of hot, if you know what l mean.

Movie 21

Here is the film that kicked-off the remake revolution of the 2000s. The whole problem with the remake boom isn't the remakes themselves(hell they were remaking moves from the 1920s in the 1940s), but the ferocity that they've been released over the years. So many have been released in such a short amount of time, it just makes a horrorhound's head spin. And each and everytime a remake is announced, l have to hear the same goddamn "song and dance" from people on the internet: stop raping my youth! Hollywood has run out of ideas! This remake is gonna suck just because it's a remake! YADDA YADDA YADDA! Ugh, l'm fucking sick of it.
Look, if you're main argument is that Hollywood has run out of ideas, then that's your fault. There are plenty of good movies released each year, and if you're only watching whatever is in the mainstream, then you deserve what you get.
As we speak we have Carrie, Evil Dead and yet another Texas Chainsaw remake on the way, some of which in puke-inducing 3D. So as far as remakes go, take them on a case by case basis, because they will keep on churning them out, and then 10 years later they'll churn 'em out again. {puts loaded gun in mouth}
Body Count: 6
Best Death: Some poor fop gets a chainsaw right to the ignatz, all while he's dangling from a chandelier.
One More Thing: This movie does feature one of the coolest scenes in horror history: a woman blows her own brains out with a gun, and the camera pans through the head-wound and out the other side, right as her head drops. Ghoulishly original.

Movie 22

Ths one was a nice surprse. l threw lt on, figuring lt would be a throw-away, cop-buddy-film-meets-zombe-movie, and luckily that's exactly what l got! lf you have Netflix, this s on instant, so watch it ASAP.
Body Count: 31(Holy Christ! l doubt this will be beat!)
Best Death: Joe Piscopo, being drowned in a fishtank(all other deaths were gunshot wounds)
One More Thing: This would be a perfect "midnight movie" for the Horror-thon. l hope they show it at some point.

Movie 23
Both my brother and mother have been telling me for years that I need to see this movie. Thanks to Turner Classic Movies, I can finally get them off of my back.
This is a pretty standard ghost story, with a few scenes of pure dread, which is rare for a movie from the late '40s. What really shines are the characters, though, as they are very well written and you actually care for their well being. This is a perfect "siting alone with the lights out" kinda movie.
Body Count: A great big goose-egg.
Best Death: Didn't you hear me?? NOBODY DIED. Asshole.
One More Thing: Apparently this movie directly inspired Poltergiest, a film that still scares the shit out of me.

Movie 24

One of the only Academy Award winning horror films in existance.  There isn't one moment of this film I don't love: from the scary-ass pub in the beginning, to the wolf massacre at Piccadilly Circus at the end, and everything in between.
Body Count: 16
Best Death: They don't count in my Body Count numbers, but the Nazi Werewolf dream sequence is brutal and fantastic.
One More Thing: An un-used, alternate title of this film was Griffin Dunn of the Dead. Wakka.

Movie 25

If you were to remove 90% of the silliness from Evil Dead 2, you'd be left with Re-Animator. This Lovecraft story turned into a big-screen romp is the goriest film I've watched so far. My favorite bit is how the zombies are constantly either drooling or vomiting blood.
Body Count: 5
Best Death: The dean-of-students being pummeled to death by a butt-naked zombie is great, esspecially when the zombie bites off two of the dean's fingers.
One More Thing: You'll never think of the term "giving head" the same ever again.

Movies 26, 27, 28

This was originally supposed to be Saw-Fest, which was a 7 day viewing of all the Saw movies, ending with the final film, which I have yet to ever see. Problem is, I lost all interest in finsihing the series while in the middle of the 3rd chapter. I enjoyed 1, loved 2, but had zero fun watching part 3, so I decided to bail on the rest of the series.
I think the reason why this happened is because l had become totally burned out on movies. Considering I(at this point) had watched 28 movies in 20 days, it's no surprise.
Saw-Fest is dead. Sorry, America.
Body Count: Saw- 8, Saw 2- 8, Saw 3- 12
Best Death: Saw- Man beaten to death with the lid to a toilet's tank warms the heart of this old plumber.
Saw 2- None of the deaths are that great, but the hyperdyrmic needle pit gives me the heebie jeebies.
Saw 3- None. All the deaths(while creative) stink. I fast forwarded through most of them. The brain-surgery scene is fantastic, though.
One More Thing: I'll attempt to finish the rest of the series when Halloween is over, but probably not for the blog. Your loss! *saunters away*

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