Exhumed Films Horrorthon: Survivor's Guide

The hour is just about on us, as we are mere hours away from the 4th annual Exhumed Films Horrorthon, and I could not be more excited! I'd say only 50% of the people reading this will be going to this event, so I have put together a checklist of do's and don'ts to help yourself through this or any movie marathon:

1. The Early Bird Gets The Worm
Do you want to make sure you get the seats that you really want for the horrorthon? Then arriving late is not an option. The show starts at Noon, so arriving at 11:45AM is not the best plan of attack. Also if you are going with a large group of friends, getting there late will guarantee you will have to sit scattershot all over the theater, most likely next to some freak with broad shoulders and penchant for snoring while awake.

2. Dress Comfortably
Yes this year's Horrorthon will be falling on Halloween weekend, but that does not mean it's a good idea to come dressed in your Robot Monster costume. Best bet is to where loose sweatpants and a comfortable hoodie.
A personal note from me to the world: IF YOU COME TO THE HORRORTHON WITH A SPIKED MOHAWK AND SIT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

3. Bring A Pillow
After midnight it will start getting hard to watch the movies, especially because they will show some of the weirder films at this time. So, a soft place to rest your head is recommended(a pillow or the guy-next-to-you's man boob).

4. Have A Small Flashlight
Being in a darkened movie theater for 6 or more hours can do a real number on the eyes, especially someone like me who has mole eyes. Also I'm sure most of us will be bringing things with us(some kind of napsack) that will be kept at our feet, which is why I think it's a good idea to have a small pocket flashlight to know where your shit is. It also comes in handy when u have to get up and go to the bathroom, you can shine the light on the ground as not step on anyone's feet while you walk through the aisle.
But remember: KEEP THE LIGHT LOW AS NOT TO DISTURB THE OTHER MOVIE PATRONS!

5. Bring A Small Cooler Of Food
One of my main goals this year is to not miss any part of any movie, except for bathroom breaks. So this year I myself am bringing a small cooler with Cheerios and granola bars, a cuple of ham sandwitches, some 5 hour energies and some pop corn. I'll be all prepared so I won't have to leave to get food. This leads us right into...

6. Bring Beverages That You Don't Mind Drinking Warm
Warm soda sucks, so I am bring 2 half gallon Iced Teas from Wawa, which are still good at room temperature. I'll probably freeze them beforhand to make sure that they stay colder longer.

7. Bring Deodorant
This...is self explanatory.

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hat's all I can think of for right now. I sure hope this list helps those of you going this weekend or anyone going to any horror marathon around the country, either this weekend or anytime in the future.
My next post will be my post EF Horrorthon review and reactions. So please, everyone have a safe and happy Halloween, watch some good(or bad) horror movies this weekend and DO NOT miss The Walking Dead this Sunday night at 10PM on AMC! Stay Scared!
(ps- i am publishing this late and i do not have time to edit or spellcheck so forgive any dumb mistakes)

Exhumed Films Horrorthon Year 3: RAW FORCE

It was October 23rd, 2009 and the 3rd annual Exhumed Films Horrorthon was upon us! I arrived at the International House around 10:30am to see a HUGE line of people waiting to get in already! Luckily I was able to secure my favorite seats, and was able to hold a few for my friends who were showing up later in the day(this year they will be arriving with me, as I will not miss any movies for people this year).
On to the list:


















12:15PM - Beloved(by some!) horror/monster movie directed by a genre favorite - Creepshow


There isn't a horrorphile alive that doesn't adore this movie, and if their is I don't want to know them! Quite possibly has one of the oddest casts in horror movie history: Leslie Nielson. Ted Danson. Hal Holbrook. Ed Harris... All of them good actors not known for horror movies at all, which made them great casting choices.

2:30PM - Giant Monster Movie - Godzilla on Monster Island



The only thing I remember about this Godzilla flick is that it was unintentionally hilarious. Definitely better than Destroy All Monsters from the prior year.

4:15PM - Science Fiction/Horror Modern Classic - The Fly(1986)



This was a nice surprise for me, as I had never seen this David Cronenburg classic and the horrorthon was the perfect setting for it! Jeff Goldblum had never been better(except for maybe Death Wish) and Geena Davis was good casting as Goldblum's gay lover, Pete(she's a guy, right?). Best movie to watch Jeff puke all over people.

6:00PM - "Old school" gothic horror starring 2 genre favorites - The Oblong Box



I went out for dinner during this movie, so forgive my lacking anything to say about it, except that it starred Count Dooku.

8:00PM Slasher sequel that many people enjoy in spite of(or perhaps because of) it's utter stupidity - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter



This one should've been titled Jason Vs. George McFly!

9:30PM - Definitely one of weirdest, most gratuitous, bat-shit craziest films of the evening, if not of all time - Raw Force



This movie delivered what it promised: bat-shit craziness! Ninja fighting! Naked women! Crazy commandos! Asian Hitler! Cannibal monks! Zombies! This is a great party movie! The crowd went nuts for this!

11:15PM - Stunning Giallo(italian horror) from a master of the genre - The Next Victim (A.K.A. The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh)



NOT the best movie to follow up Raw Force with... Kinda like your girlfriend offering foreplay AFTER you cum all over her. This movie did nothing for me, but maybe I need to see it again. I'm willing...

12:45AM - Sleazy, absurdist zombie movie guilty pleasure - City of the Living Dead(A.K.A. Nightmare City)



I remember this movie being loads of fun with an odd ending. The zombies had terrible make up, though. Looked like they had huge scabby heads. I need to see this again.

2:15AM: Verily! A sword & sandal epic unmatched in the annals of time - Hercules in the Haunted World



I remember NOTHING about this movie... Man I'm on a roll this year. I better do my best to stay more awake at this years horrorthon or GTFO! Another film starring Count Dooku.

3:45Am - Rarely screened thriller that is dark, brutal and generally unpleasant. Starring a genre favorite - Trauma(A.K.A. House on Straw Hill)


Zzzzzzzzz... What..was I snoring? Where am I? Is their a movie playing? Is that the credits? Why am I wet?

5:15AM - Ok, remember how insane movie #6 was? Or how you thought nothing could make less sense, or be more entertaining? Seriously, poke that guy sitting next to you and wake his ass up! He's not going to wanna miss this - Lady Terminator


This movie... this movie... how in the blue hell do you explain this movie? It's actually next to impossible. Yale has a whole course trying to figure out how to properly explain this movie to people. For me, the only way to describe it is "An Indonesian Terminator rip-off". The movie is loads of fun, especially with a good audience. I ended up showing it for my birthday last year.

7:30AM - Nifty, creepy and fun little horror movie starring no one you've ever heard of - The Children


What is with Exhumed Films obsession with showing movies about kids getting killed? God bless ya, EF! This gem has a bunch of diseased children burning adults alive with their bare hands. I seem to remember one adult running around cutting kids hands off with a katana blade. Four stars!

9:00AM - Enjoyable "animals attack" films starring just about every genre favorite ever - Piranha


Fantastic Joe Dante movie that shows off some early effects that he would later use in Gremlins. I heard the remake is also a ton of fun.

10:45AM - Wow, what a surprise, the horrorthon ends with yet another zombie flick. Oh Exhumed Films, you are so predictable... - Re-Animator


What a wonderful movie to end with! I am embarrassed to say I had never seen this before, but it makes seeing it on the big screen for the 1st time all the more special. Since then I've seen it two more times and I've come to the conclusion that it's the most perfect horror movie of all time. Yay or nay?

I'm pretty annoyed at myself that I missed at least 4 or 5 movies during this horrorthon, but I promise that I will not fall asleep at all this year! I'ma bringing 2 Eight Balls with me... Booya!

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I hope you enjoyed my over-views of the Exhumed Films Horrorthons, but I still have one more post to make on the subject: my own personal "survivors guide"for 24 hours of horror movies away from home. Look for that tomorrow.

Exhumed Films Horrorthon Year 2: 25 Hours!

On November 1st, 2008, Exhumed Films was not only celebrating their 11th year exposing the best of sick-o cinema to the horror-philes of Philadelphia and the surrounding areas, but getting ready to put on their 2nd annual horror movie marathon(the horrorthon), only this year with a twist: the festivities were to fall on the weekend where the clocks go back a full hour, thus making the horrorthon a full hour longer! To make things even better was the fact that I was going to actually attend this year, so I was really excited!
Now I had already written a blog back in '08 on my old Myspace page(http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=48088820&blogId=448467854), which was used in a City Paper article last year(yeah professional published author!), so once again this is just a general recap of the clues given and the movies shown. Also added in are my reactions to each film. Lucky you.



















12:15PM - Living-Dead-Getting-Revenge Flick - The Fog



I had never sen this one before and have not watched it since, but I do remember really liking it. Time to give it another viewing, maybe side-by-side with the Tom Welling remake.

2:15PM - One of the greatest giant monster movies of all time. - Destroy All Monsters

I was never a big Godzilla fan, and this movie is a big reason why. Now while I do enjoy the whole cheesiness of the films, and who doesn't love rubber monsters beating the snot out of each other, but the 1st hour of this movie reeeaaally drags on. The final monster battle royal is awesome, but best viewed at home so you can fast forward.

3:45PM - Unique, rarely seen horror oddity - Wicked, Wicked

Now this was one of the best films shown during the horrorthon! A completely off-the-wall "slasher film" that was shown in DUO-VISION, which was simply 2 screens, side by side, showing 2 things going on at the same time in the movie. One was the killers POV, the other was he victims(it's not as annoying as it sounds). I absolutely loved this movie and have been dying to find a bootleg. Movies like this is the reason to go to the horrorthon!


















5:35PM - "Old School" Science Fiction Classic - The Incredible Shrinking Man


I'm glad they showed this, because I would have never watched it on my own. This film was way ahead of it's time for the 50's, with effects that still looks good today.

6:45PM - Dinner Break - They showed a horror movie documentary called The Horror Of It All.

7:55PM - Horror sequel that is not as good as the original, but is still pretty damn entertaining in it's own right - Phantasm 2


Although it's obviously a big-budgeted, action oriented, major studio sequel to a low budget, atmospheric, independent horror tale, as the hint states, it's still damn entertaining.

9:45PM - Slasher Classic - A Nightmare on Elm Street


This movie is a beloved classic, so it really needs no extra notes from me.



















11:45PM - Comedy/Monster Movie Favorite - Fright Night


As the movie opened with the "Columbia Pictures" logo, I literally became overjoyed thinking it was going to be Ghostbusters...I was not disappointed to be wrong, though.

















1:30AM - Dan Fraga's favorite Halloween film of all time. - Dead & Buried

Not knowing who Dan Fraga was at the time(one of the Exhumed Films guys), guessing this movie was impossible. This is a dark, foreboding movie(from the savage-beating opening to the climactic ending) has since become one of my favorites of all time. A must see during the Halloween season!

2:00Am - Clocks are turned back a full hour


















2:20PM - Sleazy/bizarre slasher guilty pleasure - The Boogey Man




I found this to be a sleazy masterpiece, with some of the craziest killings I've ever seen in a horror film! Totally worth watching while your "goonin' face".


















4:00AM - I'm kind of at a loss on how to describe this film... Um... It's a horror film - Island of the Damned



This movie was balls-to-the-wall insane/awesome! Starts slow but perfectly builds to a fantastic ending. Also features one of my all-time favorite movie deaths! Another movie I never would have seen if not for the horrorthon!


















5:30AM - Ridiculously goofy monster movie guilty pleasure - EQUINOX


I did not like this movie upon my 1st viewing, but I've since seen it again and enjoyed much more the 2nd go round.

7:00AM - Breakfast time! - Exhumed Films provided everyone with free cereal as they showed The Superfriends meet Frankenstein, which was just awful. I almost left when I thought they were going to show a 2nd one.

















7:20AM - Horror sequel that is not as good as the original, but is still pretty damn entertaining in it's own right - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2



If you do not love this movie, you are not a horror fan and you're no friend of mine.

9:00AM - Campy monster movie cult classic - The Food of the Gods


Oof...this movie was hard to sit through, with it being the 13th out of 14 films. The special effects were pretty good for this being a Bert I. Gordon film, but being raised a MSTIE made me not trust this movie.


















10:45AM - Zombies. Gotta bring it home with zombies - The Return of the Living Dead



Unarguably the best zombie movie ever made. Think about how scary this movie is: the zombies CAN NOT BE KILLED! If you burn them, all fucking hell breaks loose! Fantastic punk rock soundtrack rounds out how awesome this movie really is. I truly feel that this is a horror film that non-horror fans can truly enjoy. Rest In Peace Danny O'Bannon!

Part 3 tomorrow! Stay scared!

Exhumed Films Horrorthon Year One: 2007

As we are now just under 3 weeks away from the 4th annual Exhumed Films Horrorthon, I figured I'd write up a few blogs chronicling the past years and give my incite on how to survive an arduous tasks of 24 hours straight of 35mm horror films.
In 2007, Exhumed Films celebrated their 10 year anniversary, and to mark this occasion they started what would become a major Philly/Halloween tradition in the Horrorthon. Noon Saturday till noon Sunday, the audience is bombarded with at least 14 back to back horror(or genre related) films, all the while never knowing what films they were going to see until it's actually started. The EF crew are not merciless, as they give us a list of vague clues to hint us in on what we are going to see(I've never been right once thus far).
Now I actually missed the 2007 Horrorthon, but when I heard the movies they had shown, I was a little disappointed by how many mainstream films they ended up showing, as opposed to more obscure ones that I wanted to see. I would later learn in the years following that you want a good mix of the mainstream and the obscure, to keep things interesting. It's like listening to a good radio station; you wanna hear new music, but also have some well known favorites to keep you interested.
Since I was not at this horrorthon, I have no real experience to share with you, so I'll just go over the list of what they did play, which I located on another blog, along with the "clues":

12:15PM - Slasher Classic - "Halloween"(1978)

2:00PM - Giant Monster Movie - "Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla

3:45PM - Creepy, beloved Made For Television Movie - "Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark"

5:15PM - Gruesome favorite that doesn't fall into any particular genre - "Hellraiser"

7:45PM "sort-of-living-dead-but-not-exactly" classic - "Phantasm"

9:30PM - Sleazy/absurdist/infamous slasher guilty pleasure - "Pieces"

11:15PM - Comedy/monster movie favorite - "An American Werewolf In London"

12:45AM - Vampire Cult Classic - "Blacula"

2:30AM - Sleazy/absurdist/infamous zombie guilty pleasure - "Burial Ground"

4:00AM - A real obscurity that you wont think is a horror movie until it's final moments - "Teenage Mother"

5:15AM - Ridiculously goofy/trashy monster movie guilty pleasure - "Dracula Vs. Frankenstein"

7:15AM - "sort-of-living-dead-but-not-exactly" cult classic - "Demons"

8:45AM Campy monster movie cult classic - "Alligator"

















10:15AM - Zombie movie that still makes me sick everytime I see it - "The Gates of Hell

















Between most of the movies are all kinds of short films and old trailers which really pads things out nicely.
Look for Part 2 of this blog tomorrow.

Late Monstermaina 15 post and more:

Ok, so I'm a week and a day late for my post about Monstermania, but to be honest, there was really nothing to "report". It's not like MM is the San Diego Comic Con, where horror professionals make huge horror-related announcements on upcoming movies, tv, video games and comic books. No, MM is basically about meeting A level(Robert England, John Carpenter, Bruce Campbell), B level(Rowdy Roddy piper, Zach Galligan, Sid Haig) and Z level celebrities(Dick Warlock, Ari Lehman, Alex Vincent), getting them to sign our posters, DVD's and various body parts.
With that being said, this past MM was severely underwhelming to say the least. The only person I was interested in meeting was the above mentioned Mr. Carpenter, whom I had sign my original Big Trouble in Little China poster and my They Live reprint poster with Roddy Piper's & Keith David's signatures already on it! My brother and I recently learned that Carpenter is a huge basketball fan, so we brought him one of our mother's basketball prints that she drew back in the 70's. He was very appreciative and thought they were gorgeous. After that was said and done, it was nothing but partying and DVD buying for the rest of the weekend. So as you can see, nothing to really "report".
The next Monstermania has been scheduled for March 11th-13th 2011; hotel room to be booked shortly.
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My last blog post I reported on the much anticipated Grindhouse Blu-ray, but did not post the release date, which is Oct 5th. My apologies for being an asshole.
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In two days it will be September 1st, and you know what that means? Nothing for you, but for me, it will start my arduous task of watching and reviewing at least one horror movie a night till Halloween. That's 61 nights of movie(of something horror/monster/grindhouse-y) watching till my eyes bleed! And I'll be doing it all for you, my dozen or so readers! This, of course, will lead us directly into...
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The 2010 Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror Movie Marathon! Starting at Noon on Saturday October 30th, a bombardment of 14 non-stop horror films will be thrown at a small crowd of 300+, all of which are completely unknown to the blood-craving audience, who're given a list of clues to the craziness they are about to be subjected to!
In the coming weeks I will be doing several posts on the horrorthons of the past, and also posting a handy "tip guide" to those who are going this year(or any others across the country that have sprung up recently).
I'll make this blog post interesting by throwing the very 1st clue from the very 1st horrorthon back in 2007, see if you can guess(it's a little vague, but the answer is more obvious than you think):
Film #1 Slasher Classic

Complete GRINDHOUSE FINALLY On Home Video

Folks who know me know that I am not a huge fan of the whole "Blu-ray" movement and the way it's being forced down our throats by the studios, and only a few years after "standard" DVD had been released. As far as I'm concered, picture quality is based on the kind of TV you own, not the DVD player.
Lately though, Blu-ray releases have been getting my attention with great bonus features(don't think I haven't noticed the lack of bonus's on standard, assholes).
One release I've been anxiously waiting for is the Kill Bill: Whole Bloody Affair! WTF TARRANTINO! GET OFF YOUR LOVE BOAT WITH ELI ROTH AND RELEASE THIS GODDAMN MOVIE!

*breathes into paper bag*

Ok... GRINDHOUSE finally gets released as it was released in theaters back in 2007! Here's the list of what's included as well as box art:

Disc 1 - Theatrical Exhibition:

* Grindhouse Feature (Planet Terror)

* Intermission Cards

* Don't Trailer

* Werewolf Women of the S.S Trailer

* Thanksgiving Trailer

* Grindhouse Feature (Death Proof)

Disc 2

Planet Terror

* Robert Rodriguez's 10-Minute Film School

* The Badass Babes of Planet Terror

* The Guys of Planet Terror

* Casting Rebel

* Sickos, Bullets, And Explosions: The Stunts of Planet Terror

* The Friend, The Doctor, and the Real Estate Agent

* Planet Terror Poster Gallery

Death Proof

* Stunts On Wheels: The Legendary Drivers of Death Proof

* Quentin's Greatest Collaborator: Editor Sally Menke

* The Guys of Death Proof

* Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike

* Finding Quentin's Gals

* The Uncut Version of "Baby, It's You" performed by Mary Elizabeth Winstead

* Introducing Zoe Bell

* Double Dare Trailer

* Death Proof Extended Music

* Death Proof Poster Gallery

Blu-Ray exclusive bonus features:

* Robert Rodriguez's 10-Minute Cooking School

* The Makeup Effects of Planet Terror

* The Hot Rods of Death Proof

* From Texas to Tennessee: The Production Design of Death Proof

* Trailers

* Extended Werewolf Women of The SS Trailer

* View Extended Cut Of Werewolf Women of the SS Trailer with Commentary by Director Rob Zombie

* The Making Of Werewolf Women of the SS Trailer

* Extended Don't Trailer

* View Extended Cut Of Don't Trailer with Commentary by Director Edgar Wright

* The Making of Don't Trailer

* Don't Storyboard/Trailer Comparison

* View Don't Storyboard/Trailer Comparison with Commentary by Director Edgar Wright

* Don't Storyboards Still Gallery

* Don't Poster

* The Making of Thanksgiving Trailer

* New York Times Talk with Quention Tarantino and Lynn Hirschberg at Comic Con 2006 Featuring the Directors and Cast of Grindhouse

* Grindhouse Trailer Contest Winner Hobo With A Shotgun 

Add this to the upcoming awesome ALIEN boxset coming out, my anti-blu-ray days may be numbered.

(Credit to Shock Till You Drop for the info and picture)

Welcome to my nightmare!

Name: Thomas A.K.
Age: 32(physically) 25(mentally)

I have been a fan of everything horror going back as far as I can remember. When I was a kid, I would sit on the edge of my folks bed, watching edited-for-television House or A Nightmare on Elm Street, making sure to keep my parents bedroom door wide open as so I could run out if the film got to be "too much" for me. Yes, I was a little wuss.
My love for the genre(mostly Elm Street at the time) got to be so bad as a kid that my folks banned me from watching ANYTHING scary, and not because I was scared at all. Nope, my teachers told my folks that it was hurting my studies. Horror cock-blocking asshole teachers! All this meant was that I was a horror-phile in the making.
Cut to 2 decades later...and I decided to start a blog about horror. Why? I have no idea. This is just my intro blog to...introduce me to all having an interest in whatever the hell it is I have to say on the subject.
My name's Tom. I like cats and nachos. Let's be horror friends!