Wednesday, October 30, 2013

31 Days of Horror: Year 6 - Part 6


TCM3 was a movie my friend put on at a slumber party I went to as a kid, that I was too terrified to watch. Any movie titled The Texas Chainsaw Massacre sounded way too hardcore for a kid at that age, and I really don't think I was exaggerating too much.
20+ years later, I finally watched TCM3, and while it's not for kids at all, it's certainly the tamest of the original trilogy. With that said, I absolutely loved TCM3. It has everything going for it: Ken Foree, giant, stainless-steel chainsaw, the Leather-Truck(!), and mother fucking Viggo Mortensen! I honestly had no idea that Viggo was in TCM3 when I popped the disc in, and it made the movie that much sweeter. Sadly, no chainsaw fight, and we came close to a head explosion, but instead we got a shotgun blast to the chest. Yawn.
Otherwise, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III is a great time.
Kill Count: 5(and 1 dead armadillo)
Best Scene: The unveiling of the Leather-Truck had me in hysterics.
One More Thing: TCM3 has the best movie trailer of the entire franchise, possibly of any horror movie ever.


I went into this one with an open mind, I really did. But it's just bad. Bad writing, pacing, editing, kills, lame attempts at humor. I'd swear they were trying to take TCM in a SCREAM direction, if TCM:TNG hadn't come out 2 years earlier. Only watch this out of extreme curiosity.
Kill Count: 5
Best Scene: I hate to say it, but Matthew Mcconaughey is highly entertaining in this. The movie's only saving grace.
One More Thing: The very end of the movie has a quick cameo by Marilyn Burns(the sole survivor from the original film) as she rolls by on a hospital gurney. She's oddly credited as Anonymous.


As much as I want to, I cannot hate this movie. TC3D was an unwanted, un-needed sequel/remake/reboot/retread that actually does a really good job at showing love to the original movie, all while trying to create a story of it's own. To little surprise, the new story pretty much falls flat on it's face.
TC3D says it's a direct sequel to the original 1974 film, yet the the story's protagonist, whose age is never given, cannot be older than 25. This is a plot-hole that you could drive a Mac Truck through. The writer's could've easily set the story in the mid '90s. All they needed to do was remove iPhones, change the music and alter a little dialogue. This(along with a few other aggravating points) really makes me want to hate this film to it's very core. But I can't.
It's very obvious to me that they cared for the original's history, and with some work this could've been an awesome film. I blame the fact that one of the writer's was best known for working on Soap Operas. Go ahead and hate on Texas Chainsaw 3D, it deserves it, but just know that they meant well. I truly believe this.
Kill Count: 21(may be the highest of the whole franchise)
Best Scene: Anything with Alexandra Daddario's exposed midriff. Hilariously, when she wear's a dress-shirt late in the film, she only buttons the very top, still leaving everything exposed to the word. It's like she had no time to do anymore buttons because a maniac was after her.
One More Thing: And don't even get me started on the fact that this movie was in 3D. *starts flipping over tables*

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